Eight Days In

Where Did I Leave that Article?
Originally uploaded by mkb_nf.

Well, that "days, maybe a week or two" that I told you about in How Do You Say Good-Bye? continues. We are now on day eight.

Thus far Natasha's appetite and her behavior have remained fairly consistent, minus of course Lisa's troubles outlined in Natasha- the superior being!

I know that I've spent most of te past week by her side, with the exception of Monday and Wednesday when I had to go into the university for a few hours and then the fourth of July, when I was gone from about 1:30pm to 9:30pm. I've either just sat and watched TV, read a little, or spent time on the computer - but regardless Natasha always seems to be less than five feet from me, and in most instances close enough to be in contact with me.

I know that this can't last much longer, and I still have no intention of letting her suffer. The vet told us last Friday that based on her chest x-ray, she was in a little discomfort (he likened it to the kind of chest discomfort we would feel if we had a really bad flu). In the vet's office, he got her to cough and then she started breathing with this raspy sound - distressed breathing he called it (probably due to both her condition and the stress of being at the vet). I've been listening for that all week long. She has only coughed three times while I have been here and awake (which has been much more time than I would normally have been). The first time was on Monday for 30-40 seconds and then she had distressed breathing for about two or three minutes. The second time was on Thursday for about 20 seconds, but she was fine afterwards. The third time was Friday for less than 10 seconds and, again, she was fine afterwards.

Lisa and I had talked about Monday being the day, but we've since pushed that back again... Tentatively to Friday now. In my own mind, I had concluded that when her breathing became regularly distressed or when her coughing was happening frequently, we'd call to make the appointment for the next morning (that way I'd get to spend one last night with her). Not being a vet, I don't know if that's selfish of me, but based on what I understand of what we've been told, those are the two signs at this stage that the fluid in her lungs from the cancer has become painful for her or that she has simply become too stressed about the situation. As I don't want to put her through that, those were my own warning signs (along with the normal ones: refusing to eat, going into secluded places and not coming out, etc.). But I can't seem to justify to myself picking a firm date until I see those signs, because I do want to spend as much time as possible with her.

Tags: cat, Flickr